A Guide to How People with Different Personalities Can Get Along

(STL.News) Throughout the duration of your life, you’re going to meet people with different personalities than yours; it’s inevitable.  From little children playing on the school-ground who fight over who gets to swing on the swing, to adults who have to deal with conflict in the workplace, different personalities come into contact with each other on a daily basis.

Sometimes this isn’t an issue. In fact, people with similar personalities often clash more than people with different personalities.  But every now and then, you’ll come across someone who rubs you the wrong way. Your personalities are just so different that you can’t get along.

You might even be dating or married to someone with a different personality, and this can cause a lot of tension, especially when it comes to important matters such as whether to prepare for future disasters or not. You’ll need to learn coping mechanisms for getting along with people whose personalities aren’t the same as yours.

Understand why you’re not getting along

The obvious reason is that your personalities are just too different.  But understanding specifically what triggers the disagreements will give you a good starting place for trying to get along.  For instance, maybe they’re serious while you have a more joking attitude.  A strategic ENTJ personality type might not get along very well with someone who has a more “go with the flow” kind of attitude.  Once you’ve managed to narrow down which parts of your personalities cause conflict, you can work from there.

Understand their personality

Once you understand the root of the differences in your personalities, try to understand their personality.  Understanding is key when it comes to getting along with someone.  Try to have an open conversation with them about how they view things and how certain events and situations make them feel.  Likewise, you can explain your own personality to them.  If you’re able to understand where someone is coming from and the reasoning behind their actions, it’s often easier to get along.

Don’t get personal

It’s important to remain respectful and professional at all times if you don’t get along with someone, especially if it’s in a work setting or something similar.  Chances are that you’ll need to deal with this person again in the future, and if you start making things personal, it will be awkward.  Just because you can’t agree with someone doesn’t mean you can’t respect them.  It can be hard to keep your feelings in check and prevent your temper from getting out of control, but even if you will never be able to get along, you can still remain civil with each other.

Try to see things from their perspective

Sometimes, all we need to do to be able to get along with someone is to try and see things from their perspective.  How are they feeling?  Why are they feeling this way?  And the most important question – how would you feel if you were in their situation?  We’re often so focused on our own feelings that we don’t stop to consider what other people might be experiencing, especially if our views don’t align with theirs.  Before you get into an argument, take a step back and try to put yourself in their shoes.

Ask for an unbiased opinion

Bring in someone who isn’t close to either party, and who isn’t of a similar personality type.  Ask them for their honest thoughts and opinions.  This might help you and the other person to see things more clearly.  Having someone else’s input can be invaluable when it comes to taking the emotion out of things and looking at it with a more logical mindset.


There will be a point when you both realize that it’s pointless to argue – you’re too different to ever agree on the same thing. Instead, try to find some middle ground.  You might need to make some sacrifices to accommodate them, but the opposite will also be true.  Learning to compromise is a valuable life skill that will help you in all areas of your life, and it can even improve your relationship.

Choose your battles

Before exhausting yourself by fighting a losing battle, consider whether it’s worth your time.  If not, just let it go.  Some things are definitely worth fighting for, but others just aren’t worth the effort.  Arguing just for the sake of arguing won’t get you anywhere – instead, you can allow someone else to have their way and put less stress on yourself.